Coo

It was awe
Naked and independent
Singled out
As a peg
Like a pigeon
Twist, bend, and spin
Take flight
Only to perch upon a roof
Oh but the view
Scattered dots
Flying fast
Red and yellow streaks
Separated and blended
As a crowd
Only to land
On the paved sidewalk
Grateful for the crumbs
Let it coo
See the world in a different view

The-Self, Untamed and Blooming

I sat in-between the tall purple stalks
Picking each feathered flower
Bending my fingers, biting my tongue
I was the blossom princess
"Thank you, thank you" as I bowed to the sun
That was when imagination was no greater than or less than reality

And then…

The valley grew wider, and the grass rose higher
My stance became steady, my ringlets disappeared
Curves took to my sides
When it rained, 7 colors always appeared
Vigorously, one foot in front of the other
The straw whispered "tis, whisk, tisk, tis" on my bare legs and frayed cut-offs
It kept beat with the drum of my own fantasy
In time with the vessels beneath my smooth flesh—
Perfectly fashioned with tone,
Yes, time with every thought of what I could be
Independence desired and untamed
That was when the unknown was about discovery and sexuality

But then…

The mountains flattened with expectation
My vertebrae bent backwards and my palms became dry and clean
I dug beneath my fingernails to remove the brown specks of earth
Frowns and smiles became the man in the moon, an orb that shone
Glowed and illuminated what was deemed mistakes, it suddenly became night
Dark atmosphere, still I watched my wrist for the waning to hide
Validation was the key
Rusty teeth that always left a trail of copper dust behind me as I went,
Smeared with imprints that placed weight on my shoulders
Still the metal withered killing the bit of pasture left underneath my toes
Till my saving grace, I saw the waxing and a picture of a golden light at a very long tunnel
My hand drop that piece of metal as the space between my joint and knuckle acquired a curiously comforting yellow ban and another hand
That was when the prison of perception desperately needed an inmate to cover up a tired self-concept

And then…

The patch of itchy spokes turned to gravel and then a rock wall rose
Little piece of rough and textured bumps wrapped around a smooth core
Green triangles drifted above in waves, a harness hung taut and a rope stretched
Pulling my hips upwards and forwards, at the end of that long thread my hope griped the ledge
If that wish slipped, I caught it with all the strength my fear could cling
My eyes peered up
I watched as everything I was skid, scrap, and tumble across the surface of gray mossy stone
My ankles shook and the love line in the center of my fists held steady through the burn
I felt a yank; the cord went limp but no thump sounded
My lashes blinked, confused, but all I found was a lonely 190 foot concrete sheet
I felt the layer of oil jiggle then a halting feeling of defeat
Red streaks left stains and indentions
My cuticles no longer sat upon a beveled rung
Muscles of my stomach churned
Vibrations of various layers--lava, decay, and bones hummed
F# rang my stubborn ridges and the white chaos above formed
Drops fell, jagged ice bounced, and the wind laughed
My silhouette drenched and mourned the loss of its best friend
That was when illusion and a façade striped my delusion and lessons of commitment and betrayal stung

I felt a bump…

The green fuzz gathered around my knees and expanded as far as I could run
I saw those former hues appear, warm banging between my breasts
Continued I aimed, quickly past that rusty heap, slipped through those bars
Held my hands to my ears passing all those tracks and bitter tongues
I tore that wall down to an appropriate size and kicked the pebbles around
Whoosh, whoosh, my ribs throbbed and my spine straightened
Suddenly, I saw it, that long forgotten crown
My mouth opened, my breath froze
In slow motion, I plopped down and spread my limps open
The spot light danced with the steams and ties between my thighs
Infant of pink and blue softly begged
There, in that field that bore a princess and laced my DNA with hope
Never asking for nothing-more-than this, love yourself
So I just sat, my legs open, my shoulder blades hunched
My elbows slightly bent my arms drooped
My wrists crossed at the crease between my natural stilts
Mesh and tangled with my hair
In-between the purple stalks with that woven crown

Sweet Awaking

I wear, flowing wrinkle skirt
Tinge of five petals scattered throughout
Speckled natural fuzz,
The spaghetti straps dangle
As the corner of my eyes catch
Colors of pink and yellow swaying with my dusty hair
As my chin slowly rises,
In awe, drops of peace, of hope make their way down my cheek

That glowing sphere, warming my soul
I run in circles, spin and spin
My arms flung open, giggling with the wind
I grind my toes into the firm texture
Breath in, hug the tangy spray
I take a step in
Ankles, legs, knees
White hem floating about my beautiful curved thighs
Palms of my hands skim the gentle bubbling tides

There is truth in this, when one is willing to totally break
To truly be free
Steady on my back, I just laugh and laugh
Crystal and pristine, I need no reflection
When my heart is the rhythm keeping the ocean waves rolling
Taking Earth’s lead, I am no more then this, me
Recycled minerals and dirt and I love every inch of it

Cinderella Wears Black

You’ll never see a bride wearing black
Nor carrying black roses
Or wishing for crows atop their big fluffy gray cake
This would be as awkward as a white canvas with no hint of paint
I’d laugh at the fool trying to describe it as a masterpiece
But that is the fantasy one sees on “their” most spectacular day
Ribbons and perfume strung through the atmosphere
And the words from a groom promising to cling to his wife
Heard by everyone in the room
But no one sees her feet as they make indentions on the vinyl kitchen floor
Yes, the wife,
She who has rights in the world, watching her spouse wind his way out the front door
Wiping the fingerprints behind him, waiting for something more
Her fingers swell, and leave a black ring of betrayel
Watching him break all the vows of honor and grace
What a sight to see when she walks in on he who masturbates
To the sound of his ego he vigorously beats
Clung instead to a skinny, six inch pillar of waste

-Susie

The Theory of the Hymen

It was in June when she erupted from her cocoon
Spreading those moth like wings over his nibble legs
This was the first time
or so it was thought
Out of the hundreds of DNA between that green slit
There his slimy one sat
Rotting my finger off
Stealing my grandmother’s ring
Thrown at me during his violent proposal
I should have known when he put his hands around my throat
As I objected,
“This crosses the line”
I begged, but he just squeezed
“We’re just friends you jealous slug”
“Stay hidden behind our painted door”
But he always came back
With a smell I’ll never forget
Of turpentine and mud

-Susie

Quiet

I’ve not seen the spot light lingering in the sea
No, the seagulls refuse to fly amidst the throw abouts
The homeless have move from their fiery bins
And the boardwalk is harboring no traffic
The only greeting is the meeting of the tidal waves and boats
The paper’s date marks eternity and the cotton goes stale

Caught a Firefly

My toes drip with rain
The droplets dust shimmers of monochromatic schemes
Blues, with grays
Calmness lends its hand
Through the puddles swelling with the sun
Their ripples no longer blurring my vision
As my heart bears a white sail
My eyes reach to the sunset, my pupil shrink
My first breath in five years, I stand with no remorse
As the wind whips my skirt round my knees
This is my truth, I sleep well, I live with myself with ease
My bones twist with pussy willow, my lips purse and blow little parachutes across the earth
My dreams firmly rooted with the maple trees
And the grass lye with its snowing yellow leaves

Colors Blend to Gray

Blotches of ink bound your dreams
They told stories, once reflected with hope
Now a mirage with webs in my dresser draws
What imagination, dwindled to mere confusion
The string hangs and the truth detaches
The colors blend to gray, love’s naive child
The wind no longer sooths the swelling beads
I’m left cuddling the air, and carrying you along
Please, making it right has no appearance in your blood
These are YOUR choices, don’t try to hang your coat at my door
You took everything I own and invested it into delusions
What I’ve earned, you’ve given away, what I bled for, you stole
I’m begging, I’m crying, stop, let me grieve!! I can’t lick your guilt clean
Those scribbles with a blue overtone, coated with a thick layer of bleach
Your fingers never marching but scrambling, that laid once upon my breast
With all your masks, who can hold, what only I have delayered
This was your shame. I bore witness to your vulnerabilities
Your promises held no anchor and your fears nailed you to the padded door
And still there is not a tree that gathers enough shade for you

Stab Thy Back

My back only has so much surface
And I just have one
You’re going to have to quit all that stabbing
So here it is, the cheek you’ve been begging for
As your guilt pleads for my open arms
Don’t you think I’ve done enough?
I’m simply drained, I have no more blood
You cost dearly my “friend”—my husband
And you fork yourself over too cheaply
So willing to explore anything but yourself

Gifts of the Cold Shoulder

Those eyes so high
Glazed over like ice
His skin pricked with chills--
Unconditional cold-shoulder
Those were my gifts from him
Given to me like a knife

This was our love, hopeless
Through his cold dead smile
Me, the source of his unrest
Like winter,
Egg shells laid innocently on the ground,
The debris from our white wedding bells
I was ravaging, he a clown

And life was never as he hoped,
As I became a fleeting dream
Unable to satisfy his head stuck up in those pink puffy clouds,
Nothing could compare

The rain that followed,
Not one drop from his duct

His nose so high in the air,
Never realizing his emotions were taut with jealousy,
Of the girl he despised
The wife, me,
The light he could not reflect