Today I read a poem from a another blogger on his poetry site, Mangled Verse entitled, "I am/Not." It reminded me of a recent post that I published on my myspace that I neglected to repost here, on my blogspot that I now presume relevant:
I am learning that accepting someone completely does not equate their complete acceptance of you. As a matter of fact, sometimes it just simply means that their reality doesn't match yours. Sacrificing oneself is always too much for anyone to ask. When the relationships in your life prove to come to these crossroads, I think it is important for one to remember and practice simply allowing the other persons to be themselves without writing labels. In my personal opinion, this is real unconditional love. And unfortunately, fully accepting that person sometimes means to also let them go. Indeed, I have always struggled with this concept. But, in the end, we all are imperfectly beautiful people and we all need to be encouraged and to encourage to accept ourselves and to accept someone else for not being fully accepting of us. It's one of those major grey areas of life. It doesn't mean anyone is bad OR good. Contently, I am as large as my limitations and perspective, just as you are bound to your limitations and perspectives. What will be will be. I wish nothing but the best for all the people I love, here with me now, or not. Be true to yourself. Trust in this and everything else will follow.
What do you believe it means to be true to yourself? I am quite interested in hearing what your life lessons have taught you.
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21 comments:
"What do you believe it means to be true to yourself?"
Susie- you don't ask simple questions do you? ;)
I think being true to yourself means doing what's right for you, but not exclusively behaving that way. If you're in a relationship for instance, sometimes you might have to make a sacrifice by acting in a way that isn't best for you exclusively but might be best for your partner, or for the relationship. The trick there is to recognise when a sacrifice is too great.
I also think that being true to yourself can mean acting in a way that reflects the kind of person that you want to become, rather than necessarily the person that you are, since that desire to improve is part of yourself in any case.
As far as accepting others for who they are, I think it's fairer to say that you can only accept them fully for who you think they are. Even the closest couple can never truly know what is going on in one another's heads, so there's always that degree of mystery. Which is the fun part, of course.
A little garbled there, but hopefully you get what I'm driving at.
"As far as accepting others for who they are, I think it's fairer to say that you can only accept them fully for who you think they are."
...Yes, of course. Good sentence ;). You can only know a person based on your own reality which happens to assign labels to make sense of one's environment--also known as, "The Self." I guess what I mean to say is that, when one's reality is uprooted a little by the actions of another due to preassigned labels it is important for that person to take a look at their predeterminations and step out of their world and into reality a bit and assess their former way of thinking. But you hit the nail on the head with, "The trick there is to recognise when a sacrifice is too great."
Jonathan,
"Susie- you don't ask simple questions do you? ;)"
NEVER!!!! What's the point? I know the answer. Muuuuhahahahahahaha
Susie-
"NEVER!!!! What's the point? I know the answer. Muuuuhahahahahahaha"
You crazy American girls.....
Jonathan,
"You crazy American girls....."
Uh huh, admit it! You English boys love American girl ;)
Oops. Correction. Girl(s)
"Uh huh, admit it! You English boys love American girl ;)"
Damn it, I've been found out! And I thought I was being really subtle too..... :(
Subtle? You? What's that smirk for?
I'm not smirking!
You are so smirking. Connotation: "a sharp grin indicating...well, thoughts.
Fine, I'm smirking. But you don't know what I'm thinking about.
The end of the world of course.
Damn it! I'm just an open book to you, aren't I?
No...well, o.k. I can't help my perfectness
Nah. I think you probably a pretty shy guy on the other side of the world.
Apparently you are good at reading people.
Perfectness...then...mistake. How much irony can I make today????
So you ARE a shy guy, eh?
I suppose I am. But far less than I used to be.
If there is a competition for being extremely shy I would win it hands down, no matter how much Tea I had at my side! ;)
I think there is a degree of being true to oneself that I myself would sneakily admit that I am not very good at, I am far too critical of myself sometimes. My friends would thwack me around the head for half the things I think that are truthful about me and my character but I guess I can't help it.
I think the closest I can get to being true to myself is by accepting advice from my friends and family who have always been there for me, a few kicks up the arse once in a while has helped me no end. I think that by having those around you with whom you have built a trusting relationship with tells you a lot about yourself. I have done my best to be as honest as I can with my friends and family and that has helped me know a lot about who this "me" is.
I think Keats summed it up in his poem Ode on a Grecian Urn
When old age shall this generation waste,
Thou shalt remain, in midst of other woe
Than ours, a friend to man, to whom thou say'st,
'Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.'
Soppy bastard that I am I have always thought that there is a great beauty to be found in almost all that you find truthful and its what gives life that great adventure.
I think Jonathan summed it up well, this is the person I have wanted to become, which almost works sometimes...honestly! Gives me a whole universe of things I want to improve on but hey, I like the challenge!
Oops, Philip stop wiffling you silly man, wrote a small essay again, bloody English and History Graduates never know when to shut up! ;)
Tally Ho!
Philip1978,
Good to see ya on my blog. Sorry it took so damn long to write back at you.
I can hardly believe that you are shy...really? You?
Essay's are GREAT. It means you have to think or your are sharing =). Always good when you have some wits about yourself.
In my experience, I have also come to find that your the friends you have can say a lot about a person. It's a good thing I have some awesome friends ;)
Rock on!
Susie
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